Stupid Deaths or the neitherworld's facepalms
by Whispurrs
Summary: Horrible histories very own death meets the bio excorsist... yes it is totally nuts, but aren't the salted ones yummy?


**Stupid Deaths – or the various face-palms of the neither world.**

**Note ****This came about when I and a friend started to discuss what Death from horrible histories, [which doesn't have a page] and Beetlejuice met.**

**Silly little one-shot; and I have in no way forgotten Damn you Disney, folks :}**

**P.s I called the skeleton Jimmy because I don't think he has a name.**

**Beetlejuice's POV**

He was throbbing; the pain aided by drink; but, even if it had caused him his, what... 336th unnatural death he was satisfied enough by the havoc he had wreaked.

As he walked up after his number was called he smiled at the girl; to be cut off by her glare.

''Look Beej, use those pervy chat up lines when you start shaving.''

Before he could respond comic or violently he was cut off yet again.

''We have a new worker; a real wacko. You'll either love him or hate him, but he's British; I think I know the odds.'' She smiled smugly at him.

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes, thinking how dull and needing of vodka the place was before he popped said eyeballs out.

Having spent the best part of her afterlife working in the waiting room and cursing her ''little accident'' she grabbed the eyes and twisted them back.

''Owww, fucking Jesus babe!'' Beetlejuice shouted, before turning his face into snakes.

Having seen Beeetlejuice so many times she blew on her nails, pretending to be disinterested.

This of course, coupled with the drink added to Beetlejuice's rage as he huffed that he'd show the snooty chump a real afterlife.

He did not expect to walk through an airport-like system and hear humming.

After waiting some more and having his hand ripped off from some cutie who didn't like the proximity of his hand to her but he walked through; freaked out by what he saw.

''Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths their funny 'cus their true, Stupid Deaths, Stupid Deaths, hope next time it's not you. Ha ha ha!'' A grown guy with a face that obviously had skull make up applied and a glittery sceptre singing a ditty of death could weird even him out.

''K, K, you're going on Broadway; what the fuck does that matter?'' He said sardonically, thinking this was taking the quaint English eccentric stereotype a whole lot further.

The guy was now sitting behind a desk with three fake skeletons with wigs on.

''Oi mate, hold your tongue.'' He tutted, before turning to the skull with the short black one and saying, ''yes and you can too; cheeky. Sorry, he's always a little cuckoo.''

Yep, share a ward Beetlejuice thought.

''So, how did you die; with unparalled stupidity I hope.''

''Which death?'' Beetlejuice asked; some were funny, some were gross and nearly all were far to profane to relive to the reaper.

''which death, what do you mean which death; I should have taken that job offer at Tesco I really should have.''

Beetlejuice narrowly stopped himself from getting the hell away from the wacko.

''Just your most mind bogglingly stupid one; por favour.'' The Reaper laughed.

Beeetlejuice was wracking this head for things that he wouldn't be boiled dead for that would still amuse him as he filed his nails- with gloves on, as he noticed.

''I was trying to which this Poe chick to bring her dead friend's out of limo but I missed the chance and got ate by a sandworm.''

Despite his quick and bored reminisce he found an unusual sort of pain sweep over him; ''to blurt out with violence'' he mentally added.

''hmm,'' said Death looking a bit disappointed, ''I didn't die laughing, but it was pretty interesting. What do you think, Jimmy?'' He turned to the skeleton and held his face to his ear, like he was listening to him.

''But it's not_ funny_,'' he said pouting, before making jacking gestures with his right hand and going, ''but it's_ interesting_.'' in a high pitched voice.

'Not funny.'' His left hand firmly argued. ''Interesting.'' Retorted right.

''Not funny.'' ''Interesting.'' ''_Not funny_.'' ''Interesting.'' ''But it's not flipping funny!''

Beeetlejuice was getting a headache, and aided with a hangover that made a pissed off poltergeist.

''Right, me jimmy, and the judges are in agreement. We need a demo.'' Said Death, acting a spokesperson.

''Who the fuck do you think I am; I am not gonna fucking die again!'' He shouted, for Death to shake his head.

''I said no more language.'' He said matter of factly.

Beetlejuice smugly smiled as nothing happened. And then gave way to a sandworm, presumably who wanted seconds.

''Oh shit.'' Beeetlejuice said.

As you could expect; chaos and finally snacking ensued.

''Bravo!'' Death clapped, ''It's a ten from me!'' He turned to the last skeleton on his left. ''Spoil sport,'' he moaned, ''you're through to the afterlife!''

He couldn't help laughing till his sides threatened to split apart.

''Now _that _was funny!''

**Review ^^**


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